Ice Age... Our New Reality
11 Ways to Survive Chicago's Polar Vortex
Sam Edwards via Getty Images
11. Cook Something New
Dominick's was smart: They shut down for this weather like a week ago. Didn't make it to Jewel before the wind chill hit Siberian lows? See if Pinterest has a recipe that includes jarred pesto, Shrimp Flavored Ramen and rainbow sprinkles -- you know, the only things in your cupboard.
10. Play Monopoly
No, I mean all the way through. You've got the time.
9. Wear Your Snuggie in the Shower
Or freeze to death. Your choice. Remember how you meant to ask your landlord to re-caulk, but then The Voice happened? #TeamBlake.
8. Don't Have Sex
It's not worth losing your layers.
7. Conduct a Potato Chip Taste Test
Because SEE ABOVE.
6. Grow Out Your Leg Hair
Because SEE ABOVE ABOVE.
5. Get Swabbed for the Flu and Strep Simultaneously
I did it! What a blast! Marvel at how they make those Q-Tips so GODDAMN LONG. OWWW.
4. Google "Los Angeles Apartments for Rent Refrigerator Los Feliz"
Question everything about the "life" you've made for yourself here in the Midwest, if you can even call it that.
3. Let Your Faucets Drip
So your pipes don't freeze! AND LOSE YOUR F*CKING MIND IN THE PROCESS.
2. Reveal Your True Feelings to That Person You Hate and/or Love
You know what? It doesn't matter. None of us are making it out alive.
1. See If Your Nips Actually CAN Cut Glass
I have a hole in my window ;)